Raising kids is a hard job. Raising girls is just plain scary. Of course, this is my opinion because I only have girls. I wouldn’t change my situation for the world but there are days when I wonder if I’m doing anything right. Am I teaching them to be respectful young ladies? Will they make good decisions? Do they know how much I love them? I’m sure these are normal questions. I look forward to all of the special times we will share as they get older. I want them to confide in me and trust me. I want us to have fun together, but….
I don’t want to be their best friend and here are the reasons why:
- My job is to keep to help my daughters make the right decision even if it’s really hard. This means we won’t always agree with each other.
- Friends come and go in our lives. If you think about it, most of us have a handful of “true” friends. As long as I’m alive, I will be there for my girls…even when they would prefer I not be.
- I will protect them but also make sure they know how to take care of themselves. I will be honest, maybe brutally honest, if that’s what it takes.
- There will be rules and boundaries. If these are broken, there will be consequences.
- I want my girls to have a certain amount of fear when it comes to any rule breaking. For example, I missed curfew the very first time my parents let me borrow their car. I was so ashamed (and afraid!) that I didn’t even ask what my punishment would be. I simply didn’t ask to drive for the next month.
- I want to be respected. They don’t have to agree with me or be just like me. We can even agree to disagree as long as it’s done with respect.
- I never want to live vicariously through my girls. My failures or successes are mine alone. They should each have a chance to decide what they do or do not like in terms of activities and hobbies.
And finally, I will always love them in a way only a mother can. Hairstyles, boyfriends, opinions, and everything else under the sun will change but my desire for them to be happy will never waiver. I may not be their best friend but I will be something even better, their biggest fan.