Sorry, But I Can’t Be Your BFF

Raising kids is a hard job. Raising girls is just plain scary. Of course, this is my opinion because I only have girls. I wouldn’t change my situation for the world but there are days when I wonder if I’m doing anything right. Am I teaching them to be respectful young ladies? Will they make good decisions? Do they know how much I love them? I’m sure these are normal questions. I look forward to all of the special times we will share as they get older. I want them to confide in me and trust me. I want us to have fun together, but….

 I don’t want to be their best friend and here are the reasons why:

  1. My job is to keep to help my daughters make the right decision even if it’s really hard.  This means we won’t always agree with each other.
  2. Friends come and go in our lives. If you think about it, most of us have a handful of “true” friends. As long as I’m alive, I will be there for my girls…even when they would prefer I not be.
  3. I will protect them but also make sure they know how to take care of themselves. I will be honest, maybe brutally honest, if that’s what it takes.
  4. There will be rules and boundaries. If these are broken, there will be consequences.
  5. I want my girls to have a certain amount of fear when it comes to any rule breaking. For example, I missed curfew the very first time my parents let me borrow their car. I was so ashamed (and afraid!) that I didn’t even ask what my punishment would be. I simply didn’t ask to drive for the next month.
  6. I want to be respected. They don’t have to agree with me or be just like me. We can even agree to disagree as long as it’s done with respect.
  7. I never want to live vicariously through my girls. My failures or successes are mine alone. They should each have a chance to decide what they do or do not like in terms of activities and hobbies.

And finally, I will always love them in a way only a mother can. Hairstyles, boyfriends, opinions, and everything else under the sun will change but my desire for them to be happy will never waiver. I may not be their best friend but I will be something even better, their biggest fan.


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