My First Love

My first love was an older man. We met when I was really young but the difference in age never mattered. I remember holding his hand when I crossed the street, left a basketball game, or any other time for no reason. Maybe people stared. I never noticed.

We spent a lot of time together. I remember going on long drives. On one particular lengthy trip we listened to the “La Bamba” soundtrack and I sang every word. I didn’t feel self conscience. Even though I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, he laughed and seemed genuinely happy with my performance.

As I grew older my love for him changed. I still loved being with him but was distracted by other boys and interests. But he never left me. Even when I wasn’t the kind girl he met so many years ago, he stuck by my side.

I could be having the worst day of my life and this love of mine would cheer me up. He had a tendency to spoil and I must admit, I cherished the moments when I felt like the most important girl in the world.

He always said that one day I would meet someone else and he would no longer be the love of my life. I told him that was crazy. But like so many other things, he was right. I met someone else who made me feel something completely new. My first love was still a phone call away and he made it clear that I deserved only the best. He would never stand in my way as I moved on but he would make damn sure this new man was worthy.

Many years passed and I was amazed to learn that I could have two amazing men in my life. Each loved me in a different way. But I could never leave that first love behind. You see, we met when I was approximately one second old. We had a history together. Heck, we shared DNA. Rarely a day passed that we did not speak to each other; in person, by phone, or by email. I once sent him a text and he immediately called to inform me he did NOT text.  That was okay. I preferred hearing his voice anyway.

I assumed this sweet man and my very best friend would live forever. He was just that type of person. It has been almost two years since my first love left this world before I had a chance to say goodbye. He was terrible at goodbyes. They always made him cry. 

I have decided I would never be able to actually utter a farewell to him anyway so I never will. I will listen for his voice in my memory and look for him in my dreams. After all, true love never dies.


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