The Last First

I haven’t blogged in a very long time. So to my 10 faithful followers, I sincerely apologize. I’m sure you’ve been checking your email religiously for a new post. I will try to do better. I wish I could say in my blog absence I finally got published somewhere other than Facebook or maybe even had a yard sale but alas, I’ve just been doing the mom thing all summer. It’s cool though. My kids are older and entertain themselves a lot so I don’t have an excuse for being non productive…but I’m still slightly non productive.

BUT, everything in my life is about to change because the last “first” is happening in exactly one week: my youngest child is going to kindergarten. That’s right, in seven days my baby is going to hop out of the minivan with her older sisters and I’m going to drive home alone. She is going to strap on a backpack that’s bigger than her and I’m going to give her a quick kiss, take a few pictures, and leave her in a room full of other tiny people and walk away. I’m supposed to just WALK AWAY from my BABY. I’ve done this two other times so no sweat, right? Well, maybe but I honestly don’t know. I haven’t thought about Bailey and the enormity of this situation because I don’t have time. I’m too busy with life and things like helping Lily find the instructions to her crystal making kit (still can’t find the stupid paper) or making sure Riley isn’t fighting with Lily (this is a complete waste of time on my part) to sit and ponder how I feel.

I simply have to wait until next week and see what happens. I do know that Bailey will be totally fine. She is so excited to learn how to read and have recess. I asked her if maybe mommy could come to school with her everyday. She looked at me with a furrowed brow and said, “You’re joking, right?” I wasn’t but I pretended my “joke” was hilarious.

If I could have a heart to heart with my five year old this is what I would tell her about this last “first”….For ten years I’ve dedicated most every minute of my life to the job of taking care of you and your sisters. I gave up a steady paycheck, cute clothes, lunch breaks, bathroom privacy, and part of my sanity. I laugh when you are happy, cry when you are sad, and collapse long after you are asleep. I love my job and watching you walk down that school hall away from me will be hard for mommy. Please be a good listener, a great learner, and enjoy ALL of your firsts. Goodness knows I will cherish this last first forever.