Confessions

I don’t know my right from my left at least 60% of the time.

Sometimes I buy a bag of Hostess chocolate donuts and hide them so I won’t have to share with my kids. Then I feel guilty and share the last two.

I hate cheese. All cheese. I can eat pizza but the cheese cannot be thick or actually taste cheesy.

I didn’t know how to put gas in my car for my first year as a licensed driver. I’m not sure why things got so out of hand but I finally confessed to my dad and he showed me what to do. It was embarrassing.

I tried to wear contacts for 24 hours in college. It was worse than going to the dentist. A girl in my dorm noticed I was glasses free and said, “Oh you ARE pretty!” I took those damn things out and never turned back.

I used to think eating alone was very sad and depressing. Now I think it’s paradise.

I used to be super skinny. It wasn’t by choice. So many people commented on my build that I wore clothes that were too big. If I could go back and reclaim my 25 year old stomach, I would wear belly shirts EVERY FREAKING DAY.

I am a magnet for weird people/situations. My husband says it’s because I’m too nice and make eye contact. He is right and I think it’s one of the reasons he loves me.

I’m a good cook. It took years of practice and I’m still learning.

I once lived on fish sticks and saltine crackers. When my kids won’t eat dinner I know it’s just some sort of sadistic payback.

I took Algebra I in college three times before I passed. I also majored in a foreign language and only had one B. Further proof that one side of the brain is stronger than the other.

I’m 39 but pretty sure I’m just getting the hang of certain parts of my life. At this rate, I should be a Pulitzer Prize winner by age 80.

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One thought on “Confessions

  1. I’m sorry, RM, but I won’t be around to see how awesome you’ve become when you are 80! That’s OK, though, because you are plenty enough awesome just the way you are.

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